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Voyeur
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By Betz88

VOYEUR

 

I stand watch from the fringes of your world,

Holding my own vigil and trying to deny

All the thoughts which want to separate my fantasies

From my reason.

Your life’s sea change is almost seven years now,

But it seems like only yesterday

That we jogged along the trails by the river

And played touch football in the green fields

Of your parents’ farm.

That former life is like an impossible dream for you now,

And this despised reality

Is a millstone dragging at your body, your mind and your spirit.

From the shadows of the locker room, I hang back,

Dreading the sight of your private pain

Which I have just stumbled upon, and at which I now stare,

Even as I am determined to turn away.

 

You are naked in more ways than one, your too-thin body

Twisted upon your left side with the effort of movement,

The drawn lines of your face betraying your despair

To only the uncaring anonymity of this empty space.

Your slow progress to the shower is a clumsy ballet,

A “grace with ripples”

Which tears at my soul.

The cane swings lazily from the shower rod,

Mocking you with every roll of its rubber tip,

For without it you are hobbled, clinging to the shower walls

With both hands for a precarious balance.  “Grace with ripples”.

I experience the need to go to you, lend my own strength

To stabilize whatever remains of your own

As you search for a means to rest the invalided foot against the concrete floor.

 

I tense and draw myself back quickly.

My instincts had nearly caused me to betray my presence

By offering the most dreaded of all comforts:

Assistance.  Caring.  And, God forbid!  … love.

And so I hold my breath, close my eyes and remain in my hiding place.

I must never lose my resolve again,

And you must never ever get another chance

To discover how much I care.

Feed the poet!

Betz88's Author Page

Links to Betz's other poems:

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You must be a member to post in the House Fans forum. It's completely painless and we'd love to have you. But if you don't want to join, please stop by Betz88's Author Page, using the link above, and post a comment in her Guestbook. Thank you and enjoy!

As always, if you have any suggestions, questions or concerns please feel free to email either pillpopdoc or rtlemurs