Dr-House.com Fanfiction

Zero
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By Sanlin 70

"Zero"

Kudos to whomever coined the term “Ducklings” to describe House’s trio of protégés.

 

And for all these parodies, please note… Disclaimer: These characters and any original song lyrics belong to their creators, not to me. Quotation marks usually indicate a direct episode quote or character dialogue. Unless otherwise noted, these works are essentially PG-13 and don’t contain any scenes or language stronger than what already appears in the TV episodes.

 

The next tune is based on Nickelback’s song “Hero.” Link for the original song lyrics: http://nickelback.lyrics-songs.com/lyrics/67755

 

***

“Zero”

 

Doctor House isn’t high and he doesn’t even

Always need his cane for support but it’s good to get even

With God up in Heaven and patients on Earth who upset him

 

And ‘they’ say

Doctor House could diagnose us

But he’s prickly, irritable and irate

He brandishes his Vicodin vial

And his bedside manner’s not great

 

House doesn’t believe

Human emotions will save us

But logic and truth

They only gave us

 

A world full of lying

And patients dying

From misdiagnosed pains

 

And ‘they’ say

Doctor House is brilliant

But he hides himself away

“’They’ say a lot of things,”

Is what Gregory House would say

 

Upon Doctor House patients are depending

But don’t expect him to soften his views

He has the same social etiquette as Nero

And zero tolerance for the stupid things people do

 

And Doctor Cuddy says

As long as you work for us

Don’t make clinic patients sit there and wait

House does some things that aren’t legal

But always manages to save the day

 

And he’s helping us

Restore our trust

In humanity anyway

 

He might make a fuss

About saving us

But he cares anyway

 

And it fascinates us

To see him bust

Another medical culprit each day

.