My Muses are keeping me busy between new episodes of “House.” One of the creative mediums they love to explore is song parodies. Since House mentioned the “philosopher [Mick] Jagger,” I thought I’d start with something from that *other* group of British rock n’ roll philosophers: The Who. After watching “House,” the first tune that popped into my head was The Who’s “Behind Blue Eyes.” Link to original lyrics: http://www.alwaysontherun.net/who2.htm#8

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“His Patients Lie”

No one knows what House types

On his computer

He’s a straight shooter

But his patients tell him lies

No one thinks that he’s right

When he’s in top form

And has a brainstorm

If he’s correct, they act surprised

But his schemes

Don’t hinge on an empty

Vial of Vicodin

In frustrating hours, he’s the only

Doctor in the walk-in clinic

Annoying patients will choose to see

Even Wilson has to fight

His reactions when he’s reeling

Like patients do

When House acts rude

Some people strike back with words

When they’re in pain

That’s how they show

What they’re going through

But when his team’s

Ideas come up empty

He watches “General Hospital” on TV

He spends hours, aching and lonely

Just to lend his genius

To solving another medical mystery

When his leg spasms, he cracks his pill bottle open

Before the pain dulls the deductive tools

He uses to cure sick fools

If patients act evil

He’ll get their goat

But if Cameron’s lip quivers, he relents

Swallowing the angry jibes in his throat

No one sees what he’s like

Because he acts nasty

But don’t be hasty

There’s a lot going on behind those blue eyes