Dr-House.com Fanfiction

Addictive Habits
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By Sanlin 70

"Addictive Habits"

I am, *just* barely, a ‘child of the 60’s.’ Or: post-Beatles, pre-Disco as I often lament. LOL So, I got to listen to a lot of great bands including Jefferson Airplane (which later morphed into Jefferson Starship and then just plain Starship before leaving the Earth’s musical orbit completely LOL). Here’s a take on the classic tune “White Rabbit.” Link to original lyrics: http://www.babaganoo.com/songs/white.html

 

***

“Addictive Habits”

 

He has Vicodin for the pain

And a cane so he doesn’t fall

But the ‘pills’ he gave that hypochondriac

Don’t cure anything at all

Don’t expect House

To care about a medical problem that’s small

 

And if he’s developed addictive habits

They don’t make him stoned at all

But, just in case, don’t let him handle catheters

Or invite him to donors’ black-tie Balls

Call House

When patients’ symptoms don’t make sense at all

 

When House notes something’s “weird”

Just follow him wherever he goes

Because he’s probably had a brilliant insight

After watching “General Hospital,” his favourite show

Go ask Gregory

He’s the one who will know

 

When false logic and witnesses’ distortions

Make medical problems come to a head

And Cuddy is talking caustically

About hiring ‘Marcus Welby’ instead

Remember what House’s protégés said:

It’s better to be cured by a doctor

With no concept of “bedside manner”

Than give business to the coffin makers instead

.