Warning: This song parody contains adult language and mature content. I’m putting an ‘R’ rating on it (Restricted—anyone under the age of 17 requires the permission of an adult or guardian to view this material.) Please don’t read it if you shouldn’t. Thanks!

Disclaimer: No copyright or trademark infringement is intended by the use of original characters or dialogue from the TV series “House MD” or “Mr. Wizard” or by mentioning companies and products like “eBay” and “Nike Shox.”

Okay, this next tune is based on the band Smash Mouth’s tune “Walking on the Sun.” Link to original lyrics at: http://www.lyricalcontent.com/htmlit.php?q=1763&artist=Smash+Mouth&title=Walking+on+the+Sun For anyone saying, “What’s the FDA and what does it do, again?” Here’s a link: http://www.fda.gov/oc/history/default.htm 

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“Don’t Like My Opinion?” (Rated ‘R’—intended for readers 17 or older)

Yes, I tell jokes and like my ego to be stroked

And teach the Ducklings to diagnose many puzzling diseases

And preach the world has gone to the lawyers and the liars

Hey, I know, don’t get me wrong—but it’s nice to see Cuddy

React and get me back when I make another crack

Just like I love fads that distract from my job’s impact

And just like Cuddy’s fashion is her passion

I’m trendy and hip

If eBay’s got good prices, then I’ll buy it

Like these Nike Shox—Cuddy will be ticked

[Chorus]

So don’t say tact is what my work is all about

Hey, if patients are still alive 6-8 hours after they arrive…

And, if my regimen is followed, they may have a tomorrow

Think I’m just here having fun

And don’t like my opinion? Go get a second one!

Twenty years ago is when I broke the mold on this profession and

The obsession with whether pharmaceutical companies rocked

And folks flipped out on the FDA when patients expired

Just suing and asking, “What the Hell happened?”

I hold patients spellbound some think I’m Hell bound

But, hey, I fell down and just got back up again and

I fight back against the world’s meltdown

Now I teach baby chicks how to handle it

They think my fashion is smashin’ and now they’re copying it

[Repeat Chorus]

But I don’t joke when young mothers are strung out on coke

And cry because their infants’ custody has been revoked

The maternal bond broke up when they smoked up

Now it’s a “Focus on the Family” close up

Unlike Mr. Wizard I don’t have godlike prowess

And can’t get back

The life of a teen who’s been whacked

In a drive-by shooting gang member’s attack

Stay away from that crap before life’s crap kills you, these days

Then you’ll still be there

When your kids set their wedding dates

[Chorus]